The Rachel Files: The Secret Of Jack's Accent
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: JackOther SUMMARY: Jack always had to wonder why Daniel always chose lunchtime for some deep, philosophical debates. The man really had some annoying habits, like asking the most delicate questions.


TITLE: The Rachel Files: The Secret Of Jack's Accent Revealed

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Jack/Other (but it's not the center of the fic)

TIMELINE: sometime after Affinity

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: okay, since for some people the Jack/Other warning obviously isn't enough of a hint, then I'll spell it out: this is an AU fic.

And because they are also bothered by the fact that I'm not religiously following the regs in these short HUMOR fics (which was something not even TPTB and canon were doing, so why should I?), I'll just explain: these short fics are meant to cheer up, make you smile, perhaps even giggle or laugh if I'm lucky, give you a dose of romance, but nothing more. If you want to read a fic with a religious adherence to regs check out either "Quals", any other longer fics of mine or "Jack's Christmas Miracle". The last one is part of the The Rachel Files series.

AUTHOR'S NOTES #2: this one is NOT a sequel to any other JackRachel fics, it's a standalone.

SUMMARY: Jack always had to wonder why Daniel always chose lunchtime for some deep, philosophical debates. The man really had some annoying habits, like asking the most delicate questions.

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They were in the commisary when Daniel finally decided to ask the question.

"Listen, Jack." he started.

"Yeah?" mumbled the General

"I've been wondering something. For quite a while actually. Actually ever since I met you and I got to know you and I got to know your past and what did you did in life and..."

"Get on with it, Danny-boy." growled Jack, who just wanted to eat in peace and then get back to his job, but again Daniel had to bug him just to ask some theoretical questions. This looked too familiar for comfort. Jack was actually wondering if in 10 hours he would have to go through this again. And again. And again...

"Ah, yes, as I was saying... Since you lived in so many places through your life, visited so many different countries, been on so many missions..."

"Daniel..." the threat was clear.

"Yes, anyway," Daniel pushed his glasses up. "...how can you still have your Minnesota accent if you haven't lived there since your childhood and ve'been all over the world ever since?"

That gave Jack pause. Literally. His fork was frozen in mid-air, the cake on it threatening to splatter on the table.

"You really wanna know that?" he asked, stalling.

Daniel nodded, pushing his glasses up again. One would really think that after 35 years of wearing glasses the man would FINALLY know to buy frames that would stay up. Or get contact lenses. Or get a damn laser eye-surgery... But learning from experience wasn't something Daniel was known for.

Hell, he could've even gotten a Tok'ra to use a healing device on his eyes. Btw., shouldn't have his repeated recreational use of a sarcophagus, during their first year when he'd abandoned SG-1 to labor in the mines for a one-on-one time with the Princess, fixed his eyes? Sarcophagus brings back from the dead, so why couldn't it fix eye problems?

"What about ya', T?" still stalling.

"Indeed, I am most curious, O'Neill." intoned the Jaffa.

'Verräter.' mumbled Jack and when he caught Daniel's bulging eyes he groaned, realizing he'd said it out loud. No doubt would Danny want to know about that and Jack was fully aware that his operations in East Germany were still classified. And would probably remain so for decades. Unless the US wanted the Germany to break off all friendly ties.

"And you, Carter?" he glanced at Carter, who'd been gazing into the air until then, no doubt thinking about her fiancee.

"Yes, sir."

Jack was just about to mutter 'Et tu, Brutus?', but managed to catch himself. He and Teal'c had spent _3 whole months _learning Latin and Ancient so they were able to help Daniel with translations and he definitely didn't want to be reminded of _those_ boring lessons! He'd been so fed up with it by the time the loops had been reversed that he'd barely stopped himself from using the Gate to go back in time and destroy every library the ancient Romans had had.

Sighing in disappointment over Carter siding against him as well (which she did only rarely, but unfortunately always on big issues and it always hurt like hell) he tried to find an excuse to throw them off.

"Ah..."

"He watches 'Good morning, Minnesota' every day just for that, Daniel, that's why." the familiar, highly amused, female voice cut him off, revealing his deepest, darkest secret.

He glared at the speaker as she leaned down and gave him a peck on his lips.

"Hey, honey." she greeted.

In the background he could hear Daniel splutter. "What!"

"Traitor." he muttered to her as she sat down next to him. He only received an evil grin in return. Shaking his head he bemoaned the fact that she was becoming too much like him.

"Hey, guys!" she greeted them pleasantly.

"Hello, Colonel." Carter's greeting was somewhat reserved, but friendly nonetheless. Rachel had once, when he'd wanted to confront Sam about it, tried to explain to Jack that Sam was cool towards her only because Carter felt Rachel had taken over the territory belonging to her. Jack had argued it, but Rachel still felt that Sam had, until Jack had gotten involved with Rachel, regarded him as a back up plan, the fallback guy, the safe bet in case her relationship with Shanahan failed, and was thus angry at Rachel for ruining that by claiming him for herself, although she didn't tell him of her suspicions.

Rachel knew that it would get better eventually, whether when Sam got more secure in her relationship with Pete or when she'd finally realize that she herself was ultimately responsible for Jack being out of her reach. After all, had she not left him behind and hooked up with Shanahan, then Jack wouldn't have been free for Rachel to make a move on him.

"Greetings, ColonelO'Neill." smiled Teal'c, receiving a genuine smile in return. She liked Teal'c. He was an honest, good, guy and had been the first to accept her as Jack's significant other and be friendly towards her without reservations.

Besides, he regarded himself as Jack's own pretorian and the fact that he'd saved Jack's life several times alone endeared him to Rachel. Even now, out of the field, he was still watching Jack's back and consulting him on matters. And no matter how he looked, he was a gentle giant into who's care she knew she'd be able to intrust her and Jack's children anytime. Once they'd have them, of course. He was a good man and she was glad that she and Jack had a friend like that.

Daniel nodded a greeting, but continued to pout heavily. Rachel sighed amused. The man was over 40, yet was still so childish. Like now. He was sticking his lower lip out so far that a jet could land on it, his arms were crossed over his chest in defiance. Good lord, he was acting as if he had the right to know every little thing about Jack and was hurt if he found out something Jack had kept from him. Rachel just hoped he'd eventually realize that Jack had a right to keeping secrets from his friends. But not from his wife... Well, unless they were classified from his Spec Ops times.

As she ate Jack observed his wife with a mixture of affection and annoyance. She'd just HAD to ruin his fun, hadn't she?

Oh, well, he'll just have to return the favor.

With a devious grin Jack came up with a deviously devious plan. The plan was so deviously devious that it positively reeked of deviouseness.

'The next time she wants me to do that thing with my fingers to push her over I'll just stop and go to sleep.'

He grinned harder at the thought, but quickly changed his expression into an innocent one when Rachel looked at him and narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

He was fully aware that that would result in him sleeping in the guest bedroom for at least a night, if not a month, but thinking of the surprise on her face when he'd just stop and go to sleep would definitely be worth it! It was a fitting payback for revealing his secrets to his friends.

Feeling better Jack went back to eating, wearing a wide grin.

THE END

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